Sunday, 29 January 2012

An unfortunate encounter

But soft, what light through yonder window breaks? It is the first time that she has seen the cold light of dawn from an upstairs window for many weeks, and the cold light of dawn is one of her favourite phrases, betokening as it does all sorts of elopements, escapes and adventures.


She has had an adventure herself this week, having been marauded by a cheery dentist, who smiled and smiled but was yet a villain.


His gleaming white teeth were mouthing platitudes as he bent over the chair and as she opened her mouth to reply politely, wham! there was a needle embedded in her jaw, just a little scratch as it scraped the bone and made her teeth creak (he was actually holding it behind his back, would you believe, do they practise this on dental training programmes, the big smile, the pleasant conversation and the quick draw?).


And then what a sight she was (were people laughing and pointing in the street, she didn't dare look).


Would foundation be able to cover that big purple bruise? said Princess Bunchy. (Certainly, it would need stage make-up of a heavy duty sort.)


Your face has sort of dropped down on one side, said her dear sister, helpfully. You look like you have Bell's Palsy. (She tested her facial muscles by raising her eyebrow and essaying a tentative grimace. No, not a palsy or a stroke, one must be thankful for small mercies.)


It's all right, it's not a haematoma, said the dentist when she showed him that she really had turned into a hamster, in spite of what the receptionist had said on the phone. He smiled gleefully and said that perhaps she could wear a large scarf if she needed to go out.


A brown paper bag, more like, she muttered bitterly to herself, except then she would no doubt fall over and add to the effect so ably produced by the man with the sparkly teeth.


There was nothing for it but for her to retire to an armchair by the fire, eat copious quantities of very soft chocolate muffins broken up exceedingly small, and sulk (I think she will thus have a rotund midriff to match the hamster visage, and thus feel even more unable to meet her public face to face).


She would also like to thank all the lovely people who have sent kind emails and enquiries as to her wellbeing, and apologize profusely for her tardiness in replying, her only excuse being that January is the cruellest month and a period of hibernation proved to be the only solution.

February is almost as bad, but at least you don't have to get up in the dark quite so much.

37 comments:

Nicky said...

Poor you! I am terrified of dentists - even before I watched Marathon Man!

Karen L R said...

Hooray! So good to see you back.

I wholeheartedly approve of your drug of choice...chocolate! Feel better soon, friend!

susan said...

Welcome back! So sorry you and he dentist had to meet. Never a balanced outcome there, I believe. Hope the bruising fades as our days grow longer and looking forward to seeing those bulbs in flower!

Angela said...

So sorry you've been 'down in the mouth' - hope you're up and about and 100% again very soon!

blessings x

Poppy Cottage said...

What is it with Dentists? I had a tooth out last Monday and I am sure that is isn't meant to still be hurting so much and I shouldn't still have a massive hole!! Should I??? I hope yours sorts itself out soon xx

marigold jam said...

Poor you! Nothing like a dental problem for making life unbearable is there? Do hope that you will feel better and look better soon. I almost forgot to look at the pictures as I scrolled through your sorry tale but now I have gone back to look I love them.

Liz said...

I think they must all be trained the same way - why do they smile so much and expect us to reply when they make "polite conversation"? Hope you feel better soon.
Liz @ Shortbread & Ginger

Annie said...

How nice to have you back, although how much better if it had been sans dental mauling. I find chocolate cures most things, except possibly midriff expansion ;D

Amy Friend said...

Hang in there...spring is coming!

Noelle said...

Oh dear! Painful to say the least! I agree wholeheartily, dentists must be taught lessons in such a sadistic approach! To imagine smiles such as those makes me shudder!
Thank you though for the lovely snapshots! Enjoy the chocolate!
And yes, Spring is not so far...
Blessings,

millefeuilles said...

It is fabulous to have you back in the land of the living. Courage Pomona spring is drawing near.

Were I to tell you I have had fifteen mostly painful visits to the dentist since July would I get a little well-earned sympathy, please? You have my total sympathy of course. I have developed an allergy to my mascara and look pretty ridiculous too.

You are not alone.

Stephanie

Madelief said...

Oh Pomona, what a story! Hope you are feeling and looking better? The chocolate sounds like a perfect remedy :-)

Happy new week!

Madelief x

Katy Cameron said...

Phew, I feared you'd dropped off the face of the earth altogether! Hope your own face feels much better soon, although watch the chocolate consumption or that man may be back rummaging around in your mouth with needles again... o.O

Helen Philipps said...

Welcome back, Pomona! Sorry you have had unpleasant dental experiences recently...hope you and your bruising will soon be healed. I was thinking of you the other day as my wrist was hurting after chopping some celeriac! Is your arm better now?
Your photos are delightful today, I love the berries against the blue sky especially.
Take care and hope you feel better very soon.
Helen x

Susan McShannon-Monteith said...

Its wonderful to see you have returned.
I hope the mouth has mended and you will be more elusive from his exploitations in the future.
January is soon to end and the daylight hours grow longer with each passing day.
Soon you will be your cheery self once again...
Till next time.
Susan x

silverpebble said...

I was wondering to myself only this morning if you were well. I was worried and I'm sorry I haven't dropped you a note earlier.

So sorry to hear about the dental health issues. Gnashers can be such a hazard. Is all well now?

sea-blue-sky & abstracts said...

Don't blame you for sulking Pomona (or the choc muffins) and yes, January is grim - but your photographs prove that there is beauty, even in this first month of the year.

Hope that you feel much better soon. Lesley x

Claire said...

Hey Pomona sounds like you walked through the wrong door and got the butcher instead......eeek

Hiding needles behind their back and injecting in such a manner, doesn't sound like the best dental practice.

Hope you're feeling better and chokkie muffins are definitely the way to help ease the pain,

Claire :}

Emily said...

Anything to do with injections is just plain wrong if you ask me. (She says as she winces at the thought).
Hope the mouth's a little less droopy (you can't be dribbling on your keyboard, now, can you?)
So glad you're back - your posts never fail to make me smile
Emily x

Shocking Hocking said...

welcome back - and dentists - i think there is definately a little marquis de sade in all of them - why else would you study to become a dentist in the first place? hope it's better soon

greenrabbitdesigns said...

I always said dentists were not to be trusted!!
Lovely to have you back. :)
Vivienne x

Frances said...

Dear Pomona, whatever it was that happened to you while you sat in that dentist's chair, it had not a speck of an effect on your writing and photography, and general grasp on life and the humorous side of it all.

Lovely to see this post from you! I hope that you will have a steady recovery (while all around you wait upon your every request) and will be in touch again soon. See how greedy your public can be?

xo

Mrs. Micawber said...

So glad you're back! So sorry you're sore. There's nothing like a whacking great needle in the facial nerve to produce all kinds of unpleasant sensations (and non-sensations). In the States, dentists prescribe Vicodin for occasions such as these, though I believe chocolate to be the superior remedy. May your swelling soon subside.

Wonderful photos - how nice to have green things poking up from the ground. All is white and frozen where I live.

Menopausalmusing said...

Poor you! Hope all is well on the mend by now.....

Callies Cottage said...

Ugh- the hairs on the back of my neck go up just at the word dentist!Good to know you are warm and full of chocolate muffins tho'- a sensible way to spend January me thinks!
Warm Wishes,
Callie

Jak said...

What a brute and no doubt he expected vast sums of money for this torture! Well I suppose this is a time where a burka may prove useful! Hope you are feeling better soon.
Jak x

Floss said...

Oh, you poor thing! A bit of 'cocooning' sounds just the thing - but thanks for popping by and letting us know your woeful tale!

The Weaver of Grass said...

\i am amazed that under the circumstances you can write a blog which has me laughing out loud.

elizabethm said...

Ouch and ouch and ouch again. Sit tight by the fire. It will soon be spring.

Lola Nova said...

Oh dear, how dreadful!
Just the thought of the dentist makes me go a bit woozy.

I do hope a full recovery is impending! Loved your way with words as always!

Kay G. said...

Chocolate makes everything better, especially English chocolate!!!
That last sentence really made me chuckle, I will remember it in February, when it is almost the same, just not quite as dark!

Little Blue Mouse said...

Nice to see you back!

I hope you're feeling better now.

Gigibird said...

I'm sorry but your experience at the dentist reminded me of a funny little thing that happened years ago when I used to work for a dentist - patient came out of the surgery and was sitting by the desk making an appointment - our hygienist comes out of her room - see's the patient who was due to see her as well and she said, ' oh you poor thing your face is all swollen - how many injections did you have?'
None - he has just had a check up but was chubby of cheek!!

janie said...

Glad that you are on the mend. Every time I look at your blog it makes me what to pop on over to Faversham and stay in your lovely cottage. Some day...

Isisjem said...

Oh dear! hope things are improving for you now. Still the snowdrops are out so spring *must* be on the way?

Julie said...

Oh poor old you. One other plus point - February isn't quite so long and hopefully you can steer clear of shiny toothed dentist too. Juliex

Barbara said...

Glad you are back. Commiserations, I had a dental needle cause a horrific bruise once. Only once amongst probably hundreds I am glad to say!!

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